I hate cos I'm envious

I can't sleep. I think the previous post got me thinking a tad too much. I'll be 26 in 26th Sept. When I was 11, I told myself that I will be madly in love, married and live happy. Time is chasing up on me and I know I can't live up to my childhood dream. 11 was when I first saw a couple making out at the back of the school and people around didn't matter. I stared and thought, I'll get there some day. 5 months to go and I'm no where close. This saddens me. I hate the fact that people say, be patient, your time will come, maybe you should focus on your career, go back to school, move countries, he'll come soon, etc. I hate going to movies with couples. I sit alone with no one but the popcorn bucket to hug. I hate valentines cos I get no gifts. I hate those matching coloured couple t-shirts. I hate PDAs! I hate it when girls say 'my boyfriend bought me this bag/jewelry/car'. I hate weddings. I hate births. I hate the fact that I've forgotten how to smile genuinely.