Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I hate cos I'm envious

I can't sleep. I think the previous post got me thinking a tad too much. I'll be 26 in 26th Sept. When I was 11, I told myself that I will be madly in love, married and live happy. Time is chasing up on me and I know I can't live up to my childhood dream. 11 was when I first saw a couple making out at the back of the school and people around didn't matter. I stared and thought, I'll get there some day. 5 months to go and I'm no where close. This saddens me. I hate the fact that people say, be patient, your time will come, maybe you should focus on your career, go back to school, move countries, he'll come soon, etc. I hate going to movies with couples. I sit alone with no one but the popcorn bucket to hug. I hate valentines cos I get no gifts. I hate those matching coloured couple t-shirts. I hate PDAs! I hate it when girls say 'my boyfriend bought me this bag/jewelry/car'. I hate weddings. I hate births. I hate the fact that I've forgotten how to smile genuinely.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Welcome to the real world.

CK said...

Gee, thank you for the comment. Somehow I know you're not being sarcastic. The real world IS a bitch.

Ben said...

You shouldn't wait. If you see who you want, go for it. :)
We all had those dreams of love, marriage, and happiness. You choose not to settle love for marriage nor companionship for happiness. Kudos to you!
Keep searching, don't wait for it.
As for your smile, maybe remembering something innocent when you were a child may help.

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